Foolishly Yours

So, Happy April Fool’s Day everyone! Thankfully for you, there will be no fake news here—only fond memories of the April Fool’s Days of yester year.

I went into work this morning really cheerful after listening to NPR pranks (They were in an art gallery and the radio host “broke” a priceless artifact. You hear a crash, some arguing, and some apologizing…To clarify, they announcer stated that the gallery was open weekdays, 9 – 5 and today, April 1st.) and unreal commercials (There was a commercial touting plastic surgery for babies. “Having a child should be a wonderful and exciting time of your life…but what do you do if your baby is ugly?”) and completely seeing right through them. I think my favorite NPR prank was from a few years ago. It was shortly after cell phone users obtained the ability to keep their number, including their area code, regardless or their carrier or physical location. The host was detailing a new piece of legislation that would allow individuals to keep their zip code as well. They interviewed people that said things like, “I’m just attached to this zip code. Why should I have to change it even if I move? Why shouldn’t it move with me?” The absurdity of it just made me chuckle. It almost makes it more amusing because I sit in my car picturing these people being scared for the radio hosts’ job after he breaks the artifact or appalled at the vanity of people who are willing to perform plastic surgery on their newborn baby while I silently know better…it’s all a ruse. I was WELL aware all day that it was April Fools Day.

So, I’m at work sharing these stories with my co-workers…when my boss says, “Oh yeah, its April Fools. Well, all I can say is don’t call your parents!” Now, the average individual who has little connection with my family may be perplexed by this, but a truer statement has never been made. The other night at a work dinner party, somehow the topic of April Fool’s Day came up, so I had to share my experiences with the group. Afterwards, judging by the looks on the faces around the table, I think I either made myself sound extremely gullible with little to no common sense or I made my parents seem like the sneakiest couple alive. I can only hope that you will not judge us too harshly as you read over our adventures in tomfoolery.

Lights Out: One year, my parents decided that it would be hilarious to convince my sister and I to go to bed early…I mean REEEAALLLY early. They changed all the clocks in the house so we would think it was much later than it was. I’m guessing it was about 4pm when they put us in our jammies, got our juice, and tucked us in. When we protested stating that it was still light outside and there was no waaay it was bedtime already…they simply replied, “Well, that’s Daylight Savings Time for you!!” I think we were in bed for about 20 minutes before they came in and got us back up. “APRIL FOOLS!!!!” It wasn’t until years later that my mom confessed to me that even though they did get up back up, they wondered what would it hurt to just let us stay in bed until the next day……I mean, since we were already there…. haha

Caller #15: One time, my mom called us posing as a DJ from a radio station. (The details of this are a little fuzzy. I have no idea how one could be fooled by her own mother’s voice…) My sister was the lucky grand prize winner if she could answer this one question: What is Garfield’s favorite food? I’m jumping up and down in the background shouting, “LASAGNA!! IT’S LASAGNA!!!!” So, as the ‘DJ’ goes to tell us what we won, we got a big dose of “APRIL FOOLS!!” I was so disappointed. My dream of free stuff and public notoriety for being a big contest winner went down the tubes…..

Chef’s Special: It has always been tradition for our family to eat dinner together. One night, my parents got up and announced that they had a special treat for desert that night. They came out with (what I remember as) a big whipped cream delight topped with chocolate sauce…I even think there was a cherry on top. A cherry!!!…who can resist a cherry on top. Soooo, what I’m not describing is what was underneath the whipped cream. It was tree bark. They had delved into our firewood supply for our special desert. I really am not sure how I could be so oblivious, but I dove right in. After one bite of that fiberous material, I looked at my parents with hurt and disbelief….and then I started to cry. I had been duped again. (I think my sister was smart enough to sit back and watch silly little sister chomp down.) I really think my parents had no idea that I would actually eat the stuff and they felt pretty bad afterwards….but they still managed to announce…”APRIL FOOLS!!!” with pride.

I used to think I would be able to get them back…but many years have passed and I have yet to come up with a prank remotely as cool as theirs. The closest I came was to put a black hair tie around the kitchen sink sprayer handle and aim it toward the area a person would most likely be standing. All the water was sent directly through the sprayer, so that when my dad when to fill his coffee pot in the morning, he’d get a shower at the same time. (I still giggle about that one….)

Anyway, those were the highlights of April Fools Days of my childhood. I can completely understand why my boss told me not to call my parents for fear of what they may be cooking up…but secretly, I was waiting for the call, waiting to see what they were going to come up with next.

(PS – Thanks Mom & Dad for your creative fun……that is the stuff memories are made of!)